So I used my network

I reached out to the bi community on tumblr asking

“What is the most offensive or uninformed thing someone has said to you or someone you love regarding your sexuality?”

Here are the responses I’ve gotten so far (ps how do I cite this?)

  1. kittensandconfucius answered: I was called “Greedy” by a (so I thought) friend, who is gay himself. He hissed it under his breath while walking past me. It really hurt.
  2. slythwolf answered: “Do you still like girls too or was that a phase?”
  3. allyspooky answered: “You’re really bi. You just want guys to think you’re hot.”
  4. princess-passion-flower reblogged this from thesunnysideofbeingbi and added: i was called a freak so theres that
     
  5.  princessnymphia answered: I was talking about being bisexual in mixed company and my lesbian friend kept saying “so, you’re STRAIGHT” over and over again. :\
  6. snowhyte reblogged this from folklore-films and added:
     ‘I’d never date a bi girl,they’re dirty’ from a lesbian
    ‘bisexual is just an excuse to cheat’
    ‘bisexual people haven’t had any good sex’
    ‘you don’t have to pretend to date girls just because you can’t get a boyfriend’
  7. whiona answered: Once someone told me I’m “not owning it enough” and questioned why I bother IDing as bi because I have a long-term bf
  8. heyshaunnay answered: People have asked if I ever have sex with my sister ‘cause we’re both bi. Like, do you fuck your straight other-gender siblings? WTF.
     
  9. kyriarchetyped reblogged this from bifurious-babe and added:
     But you’re single; bi means two; I don’t get why there’re bisexuals and pansexuals, isn’t it the same thing with a different flag? Being bi is inherently transphobic; do you like men or women more? Orange is the New Black is great for representation; why bother labeling yourself? how can you know if you’ve never dated anyone? Oh yeah, I forgot you liked girls too; this is a safe space for gays and allies! Bi people have so much privilege; it’s safer to come out as bi; I came out as bi first so you are only halfway out too; stepping-stone sexuality; you’re gonna be a BUG, aren’t you? 

    I don’t even feel like going on and I’m not even visibly out yet!

  10. folklore-films reblogged this from shadowpiranha and added:-“Oooo I like dating bisexual girls!”Immediately assuming I’d date him cause I’m “open”.

    -Asked to be a part of a three way at least half dozen times by different couples, some I barely knew.

    – having to sit through numerous conversations saying it’s just a phase.

     
  11. shadowpiranha reblogged this from plamkeen and added:
      I don’t know…I don’t think I could; it’s weird, I mean, your boyfriend is ok with you cheating like that?” – immediately after I said I was bi.
  12. ornerychelicerata reblogged this from spooky-bisexual and added:
     A gay man: “Yes, I also went through a bisexual phase.”

    A straight woman: “I know you’re bisexual, but I think you’re going to end up with a woman” “But you’re really a lesbian right?” “What do you mean, if you fall in love with a man?”

    Countless pansexuals: “Bi means two! Bisexuals like two genders, unlike pansexuals who like ALL genders. Bisexuals are binarists!” (Ignoring that the ‘bisexual’ term was not created by bisexuals. It was createdby Charles Gilbert Chaddock, in his 1892 translation of Kraft-Ebing’s Psychopathia Sexualis, in an attempt to pathologize bisexual behavior, and many bisexuals are trying to reclaim and redefine the term.)

    The RAE’s dictionary (The official Spanish dictionary) definition of bisexuality: “1. Hermaphrodite. 2. A persona who alternates between homosexual and heterosexual practices.” (Implies it’s impossible to be monogamous and bisexual, completely ignores sexual attraction t focus on “practices” (And what does that even mean, anyway?))

  13. bilingualbisexual reblogged this from bifurious-babe and added: Why arent you dating men you have the option to be straight why wont you take it, you cant be bi youre dating a trans woman that makes you pansexual, bisexuality is inherently transphobic and youre a terrible persin for continuing to identify that way, being a gay woman is morally superior to being straight or bi you need to reject attraction to other genders and be a lesbian, being told that im not actually bi im pan/straight/gay or should be one of those identies rather than bi for any reason
  14. bifurious-babe reblogged this from satan-of-camelot and added:
    bihet, sexually available to men, you can just choose to be straight, if you don’t want to have threesomes why not just call yourself a lesbian or straight, do you need to have a threesome to get off, untrustworthy/sneaky, about sleeping with another bi person: “you’ll both have to be extra careful to use protection”, everything above, like I could go on and on.
  15. theguideisdefinitive reblogged this from thesunnysideofbeingbi and added:
     “It’s all about who you fall in love with, which I think I’d a very gendered thing. So you can’t fall in love with more than one gender. Also it’s three against one [who believe bisexuality is real]” this was from a newly out lesbian
  16. msblondebomber reblogged this from thetidez and added: 

    1. asking for your Bisexual credentials

    • Your sexual history.
    • How many men have you dated?
    • How may women have you dated?
    • Which gender have you had sex with more? 
    • Which gender are you more attracted to?

    You need to prove to them you are what you say you are by giving them your history with each gender.

    2.  after giving them your history, telling you what they think you are.

    i wrote a whole blog post on this, so if you need any material, id be happy to share it w you

     
  17. serial-sociopath reblogged this from pinwheelz and added: Threesome?
  18. explorationsofyouth reblogged this from thesunnysideofbeingbi and added:
     “I was bisexual once. You’ll get over it too”“I can’t date a bisexual male because he might leave me for a man”“The thought of a male with another male isn’t a turn on”

    Expressing sheer disbelief in my sexuality

    etc.  

    satan-of-camelot reblogged this from thesunnysideofbeingbi and added:

    Whore, bislut, curious, questioning, basically straight, cheater, “why not just call yourself queer and make it easy for yourself?” “I just dont understand bisexuality. Are you even sure?” along with the usual homophobic slurs too, take your pick
  19. miharia reblogged this from princess-passion-flower and added:
     I usually just get “I know a lesbian and you’re nothing like her,” and “Nah, I don’t think you’re gay.” which is a bit rude considering I don’t claim to be a lesbian, I’m telling someone I’m bisexual – it’s not up for debate. 
  20. oddandproud answered: “It must be so hard to date a bisexual. You’ll have to worry about girls AND guys all the time.”
  21. gaybagelsex reblogged this from spooky-bisexual and added:
  22. Anonymous said:
    most offensive thing said about my bisexuality was from my mother who said ‘bisexuality isn’t real, just confused women and men who are lonely and like the attention gays give them’ and that bisexuality actually hurts the ‘gay and lesbian’ movement by being a ‘choice’ (ie I could choose to just date men) and that I as a ‘fake bisexual’ would end up hurting a real lesbian bc I’m too selfish and needy for attention.
  23. The most offensive thing someone has ever said to me about my sexuality is, “are you sure that exists?”
  24. some of the most offensive thing my best friend has been told is “you’re confused” regarding her bisexuality.
  25. i have been told my bisexuality is “not real”
  26. “You’re just doing it to be trendy.”
  27. The most offensive thing someone has said to me was actually said by my therapist. He said “So when you going to choose? Boys or girls?”
  28. A lot of the biphobia I experienced came from people I was in relationships with. A man who would get upset if I indicated I wasn’t straight in public. Another partner was bi but not out to her family so I spent holidays alone.
     

Comments

  1. Mariah Jensen-Wachspress
    October 27, 2014 - 11:43 pm

    This is actually really sad to think about. I think people should be allowed to be how they are and I think it is fantastic that you’re making a game (informational?) about it.

  2. I would suggest you use this citation format knowing that you don’t have particular people names – we can talk more in class.

    J Dean. (2008, May 7). When the self emerges: Is that me in the mirror? [Web log comment]. Retrieved from http://www.spring.org.uk/the1sttransport

    Psychology Video Blog #3 [Video file]. Retrieved from http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqM90eQi5-M

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published / Required fields are marked *