Stirrup Trouble got their first case this week. We spent the week gathering evidence by dividing and conquering. We split up the major players- BB&B among the three of us. I took on Burtis. Initially, I couldn’t get anything out of her. The preliminary evidence raised more questions than it answered. I gathered more evidence, but I don’t want to jump to conclusions. We’re playing with people’s lives, here. Jack could be anywhere. You could be Jack. Jack could be you.
I’ve finally assembled my workforce. Donnie and Lilah should be great assets to me in this coming adventure. I wanted to start things off easy for them, just set up the public website and give them their first challenge. As many of you already know, my bananas were stolen several weeks ago under frightful circumstances. Delilah’s been a real peach- she learned that some alien named Obama actually stole them! I don’t know who this guy is, but I don’t trust him. He looks too determined. You won’t get my bananas again, Mr. Alien.
Donnie didn’t work on this case. But, he did design a logo for us. That’s nice. I guess he also sent Lilah a business card, because I don’t remember ever making one. Way to step up, Donnie. He seems to be having a little trouble adjusting to computers and technology, which seems strange. He said he’s from the ’40s, and since it’s currently 1952, I find that hard to believe. I think it’s just his own brand of humor. He also seems really sad, like he’s a widower or something.
I like Delilah, but I don’t really trust her. I know she thinks I’m batty. But, really- she’s spent all her life around horses and animals, I don’t think she’s very good with humans. Sure, she has a degree in Psychology, but you know who else did? Freud. All that guy cared about was penises. (I really hope she doesn’t like penises as much as Freud.)
I’m not very happy that she put our phone number and address online, but it’s not like I can take it down now. The internet owns it. That means that Google owns me now. I’m like Google’s sexy concubine.
We expect to be getting our first clients starting tomorrow, seeing as we’re ready to start rolling now. I was hoping for some disgruntled lovers, shady business deals, things like that. But, we’ve been getting tips recently about hunter green jackets, mysterious vacations, and Dutch ovens. I don’t know how they could all be related, but I bet there’s a Jack involved. There’s always a guy named Jack.
My final 3 bananas were for this assignment. I looked through everything that my team did this week, and I summed it all up here! I think I’ll keep doing this as new cases start coming in.
I think I’ve asked “how did you make this” more than 5 times this week. If you were my employees, you would all have a stern talking to about following instructions. (more…)
I’ve decided to open my own business! Folks around these parts can be so untrustworthy. I bought a record deal with Legitimate Company Not A Scam over six months ago and no dice! Where’s my record? Gone with the wind. (more…)
Hello, lovelies. It’s been a hectic week. Let’s run through everything, shall we? (more…)
Alright, my lovelies. Yesterday, I promised and an interview and an interview you shall receive!